The earliest memory of contemplating about life was at four or five years old when I wandered what was real. Could everything I say when awake be a dream just like when I was asleep? It was the relationships with other people that made me believe that what I saw was real. I might be able to imagine things that weren't alive, but people were far too complex to imagine.
I went to Sunday school and church since two weeks after birth. By the age of six or seven, I knew that I had sinned, that Christ had died to save me, but that I needed for Christ to become my Savior for me to go to Heaven. I knew that if I died I would go to Hell and wondered if I would ever decide to follow Christ. Finally, when I was eight years old, my younger brother asked my mother how to be saved. My mother explained to us how everyone had sinned and deserved Hell, but that Jesus Christ had died for our sins. What I needed to do was to give up my self-centered life to receive Christ as my new Master and Savior of my life. So, at that young age I did, but that was only the beginning of a new life in Christ.
In grade school, I wanted to be a geologist. By high school, I wanted to be an aerospace engineer. However, as a junior in high school, I felt that God was calling me to preach. After nine years of college and seminary, I was convinced that this was not where I belonged. I enjoyed studying the Bible and had good grades, but I struggled with preaching classes. After spending more time in preaching classes than on any other subject, I still made lower grades in them. Thinking that maybe I should teach, I started on a Ph.D. in Old Testament Semitic languages. However, I had a similar experience in my teaching class at seminary. Preachers expected their teachers to speak as well as they did. Thus, I ended up studying engineering and becoming an electrical engineer.
Even after becoming a Christian at an early age and having a good theological education, I still struggle to grow and mature in Christ. Although I believed that God had some purpose in spending the time and money for a theological education, I had not fully grasped the meaning of the verses, "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, The New International Version) I probably still do not understand it fully, but what helps me get through the frustrations of life is knowing that everything is happening according to God's purpose. When I look back at life even a few years, I see a less dedicated and less mature Christian. Hopefully, as life continues I will continue to be able to say the same thing throughout life.
How to receive a new life in Christ.
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